Christian Feelings

Today, I discovered that I had a emotionally scarring series of events 28 years ago while I was in college working on my Bachelor’s Degree. Because I attended a private christian university I allowed more emotional attachment to cloud my thinking processes. I have regret, though it is not my own!

When we hear the word “Christian” we automatically think of a higher moral code of ethics. Afterall, didn’t Jesus tell us to turn the other cheek? Taken out of context like this, it could mean to never get angry or react to someone else’s insults or injury to your soul.

We all made thousands of minute decisions everyday, some are good some are bad and others are unimportant. On the decisions that count we need God’s guidance –God’s Holy Spirit. “This is the way, walk in it,’ when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.” Isaiah 30:19-21.

For those who seek out the Lord and his advice, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.”  Psalm 32:8

The scripture tells us that God will be there for us especially in difficult times. We will endure hardships but “for a season” it will not be life long, though sometimes repeating a pattern can cause similar results. But we will also have moments when our hearts are glad and merry. God gave us a wonderful range of emotions and now gives us instructions on how to process them in our psyche’.

In the garden, God sought out Adam and Eve, even though they had sinned, he still wanted a relationship with them. He passed sentence on their guilt but also promised to be there for them in the new struggles they now had to endure. God passes judgement on our guilt and the sentence was death on the cross at Calvary Hill where Jesus the Christ bled and died for our sins, so that we may have abundant eternal life because He wants a relationship with us.

In this relationship with God and Jesus, we have security that he will not fail us. Though people do fail us on occasion– God will not! We allow fellow christians to hurt us more deeply than non-christians because we want them to be perfect, aka, God like. When I think back on my undergraduate college days, I realize that my expectations were higher because the (fallible) people that made up the institution, was suppose to be christians. And I suppose they were Christians in their limited abilities.

But it was my expectation that was faulty, not the church or the university. I set them to too high a standard and sacrificed monetarily for them only to be let down hard. I prayed to God to help me through that rocky and sometimes slippery path that I was on, and he did.

My expectations of the university has foreshadowed decisions regarding higher education institutions. I chose a secular university for my Master’s studies. I chose not to get too involved with my classmates and form intimate contacts with the staff. (except for one really nice professor). I protected my psyche’ at all costs. I didn’t want a repeat performance of my undergraduate season.

I do not think christian or secular colleges are better than one another– you just have to define what your expectations are before you delve into relationships with the professors, staff, and peers. You need to be mature in your decision making. God can help you out there. He can people into your life that will change it forever. Dr. Edythe Leupp was my great “people” that God sent to me in undergrad. She help transform me into the person God wanted me to become. And God wants you to become the best person that you can be.