What it is like in Heaven

Heaven is an incredible place of pure joy. I was a small child when I went to heaven for a little while.  I remember being in the hospital so very many times as a small child with Bronchial Asthma attacks.  This one event stands out in my memory of going to heaven and recognizing it was heaven immediately although I was too young to glimmer the difference between heaven and earth and hell.

It was daylight and there were small animals all around and people talking. I was playing with white long-eared bunnies and was so happy. As a child, all animals were off limits to me because of the Asthma. But this time I was able to play and laugh and not be sick.  I heard someone tell me that I had to go back that it was not my time yet. I remember seeing myself with people (doctor/nurses) all around me as I lay on a bed like a table and later woke up inside an oxygen tent.

My mom was told that they almost lost me, that my life had stopped for a moment but they were able to revive me.  I’ve always had this memory of being in utter indescribable joy.  As an adult, I have tried to fill in the significance of the memory and rationalize it but I can’t. It just boils down to faith either you believe or you don’t. I know in my mind and heart that there is another realm to be alive in and it is only when our subconsciousness departs from our soul that we are truly set free and it is good.



The Wavering of FAITH

I had a weakness of faith this afternoon. It didn’t last long but the temptation to believe that GOD is limited in insurmountable odds against us.  You see, I was struck by the devasting news that placed money before the quality of health.  After, calling several times this week, I finally got the hospital to call me back with the amount of money required to admit Robert into the hospital for surgery later this morning.  They told me at 4:20 p.m. yesterday, that I needed $18,368.00 down payment on a $25K+ debt to be incurred.

I called Elder Bruce at Eagleview Church and he prayed for me and Robert; for wisdom, strong faith in times of peril, and to allow GOD to do his job in us. So much is running through my mind even as I type. The only solution is to go to the Emergency Room and see if they will admit Robert into the hospital so he can have “emergency” surgery today. There are no guarantees that he will be admitted. They may give him nitroglycerine for his pain and send him home.

Then, I will have to try and reach out to news stations for assistance. Even if they admit him when it is all over with I am going to reach out to the television reporter about the insurance coverage we were supposed to be purchasing. It is not morally right to tell us that we are buying coverage for hospitalization and sickness, then switch it to another plan without telling us- which is what occurred.  It was a limited medical plan in that prescriptions were not covered and we were limited to five doctor visits per month. The doctor co-pay was to be $25-$30.00 each sick visit and our doctors accepted the MultiPlan insurance program. I was also promised a 70% to 40% discount on hospitalizations in the network.  We were also allowed one ambulance coverage and two emergency room visits. Anesthesia, in an outpatient surgery, were covered.

The reality of what we actually bought hit at 4:20 p.m.  The hospital is paid $750.00 for one day of service. The anesthesia is paid $187.50 for one service.  The surgical procedure is paid $750.00 one visit (but the hospital would not deduct that from the bill until services are rendered).  The total estimated bill is $25,263.68 and the hospital wants an $18,386.00 deposit at the time of admittance to the hospital. And the doctor bill of $1,500.00 was not covered at all.  I was in a tailspin- we don’t have that kind of money period. The savings I do have will only get us 6 months living expenses with all of Kassidey paycheck being applied. And that is not including additional medical or any other major expense that may occur.  The hospital was firm but friendly. They do not have a benevolence program for charges to be incurred or deposits required.  They did say their benevolence program allows for 1/2 the balance be paid and then 3 monthly installments afterward to be paid. I don’t blame the hospital for wanting to be paid upfront. I just wish they would have a heart and put us on a payment plan that I could live with.





When life throws you a curve ball

So much has occurred in the last month. My husband Robert was forced into taking an early retirement from work due to his serious and life-threatening health issues.  The quote, “Pride goeth before the fall,”  resonates it’s lone warnings.  But, I have hope that everything will be alright- that GOD is on our side, and he is faithful.

It’s a thought process. We were making a lot of money then, now we are not making any. What do we do?

1. Tell your story

Host a go-fund-me page or plea to the neighborhood

2. Determine the essentials of survival

We don’t need the TV but we do need electricity- evaluate the basics survival requirements, then add on the luxuries if any money is left over.

3. Ask for assistance and accept it graciously

Community charities are a place to start as a one-time safety net.

4. Thank those who have a generous heart

If they are making time to give to you, then make time to sincerely thank them from your heart.

5. Make a plan of action

To eliminate debt to cash ratio variances

Cash in 401K, closeout savings account, get rid of an automobile with the higher payment,  host yard sales (sell extra stuff laying around the house not needed),

6. Trust in GOD!

He has given you the presence of wisdom from others in your life. Belief is one of the hardest things we make ourselves do- yet it is the simplest feat to just let go and have faith that God is in control.




Destined to Be

He stood on all fours, two feet from the ground.

He had beautiful down of rich cream

with apricot sprinkles from nose to tail.

Twin eyes of liquid hershey Kisses

He cautiously eyed me, then approached,

as I crouched down to meet him.

His vacuum nose sniffed scents from all of me.

He slowly began this rocking prance

from side to side, inviting me to touch him.

He was a gigantic dog. His barrel chest was 18″ wide,

strong in muscles. His face was

handsome and evenly set, his soft tongue

thanking me for scratching his ears.

Around his body, my  hands caressed,

taking in the bulk that made up this mammoth

dog Ralph. Ralph and I knew that we were

destined to be companions and friends for

each other’s life, as he came to share my family with me.

The Dreamer’s Soul, Kathryn Aubrey, p12, 2003


#dog #relationships



Proactive Prophecy

Robert is the hardest worker that I have ever known. He was always studying for certifications (30+) that would help him move up the ladder or make lateral changes in his employment. He keeps his certificates up to date. He earned an Associates in Computer Science and Bachelor degree in Engineering, all while working 12 hour shifts at work for over ten years span during schooling. And many long days and nights over the 40-year span. He is the Central Region (Corporate) Facility Service Manager for Americold, he has 36 plants that he oversees. He stays on the go daily.
I was fortunate, Robert supported my efforts to go to a private university; Southern Nazarene, and attend for four years so that I could earn a Bachelor in Elementary Education and become a Teacher. Looking back at my employment record, I can see the gaps when I was too ill to work. Areas where I filled in as babysitter for Kassidey for five years. And times where I turned left when I should’ve turned right. Although I still have my license until 2020. I am woefully outdated. I need to volunteer for a year. And see if I can re-establish myself. I am seriously considering Master’s level college studies.
My girls earned their Bachelor’s degree and Master’s degree in Education. They both have a solid career in front of themselves; they work hard and produce positive results with their Special Education students. Rose’s husband also has a Master’s degree in Computer Engineering.
My mentor and spiritual mom Dr. Edythe Leupp of Portland Oregon has been encouraging me to write this book for decades. She believes that young love, can mean everlasting love. She and Tom were married as teenagers also, albeit older than Robert and me. They had five children and numerous grand and great grandchildren many with advanced academic degrees.
Her biggest influence upon me was unconditional love. No matter what the story was or the excuse she loved me totally. Only Jesus had loved me totally and he died for my sins and entrance into salvations heaven.
Perhaps because she didn’t raise me she could love me totally. Sometimes the enormity of having three children can be a bit much for parents to deal with. The cooking and cleaning and discipling gets wrapped up so that it outweighs the fun times of just bonding and being together as a family. I can certainly understand it- I don’t happen to agree with it, but I understand parents who do.
Childhood can seem like it takes forever, so many milestones to meet and mark off time with, it’s been five years that Kass and the boys moved in with Robert and me. Time has flat flown by with the boys being 6 & 8 yr.’s old respectively. I wouldn’t trade a moment of it away. Roses’ Bella is almost two years old and thriving as a happy little girl with her parents and older half-siblings.
No matter how convoluted or congested things get and you think the drama queen or king is in the house permanently – unconditional love conquers all. Then in a blink of an eye it’s over, the children have grown up and gone their own ways.
Tell your children and grandchildren often that you love them, that they are a good person, that you like them, and you enjoy being with them. They hear enough negative talk at school and in the media so your sunny disposition will be the rainbow at the end of their storm.
I can’t stress the importance of getting an education. It doesn’t matter if it is a trade school or college; anything posts high school counts. My 16 years old niece said she is getting married when she turns 17. The age barrier is not my concern, lack of education and employability is. Her fiancé’ is ignorant as they come. He makes light of their housing, food, and other necessities. A HS drop out, unemployed, he says he’s a good hunter and they can eat wild game, and use the hides for clothes and shelter as they live off the land. Even, my brother a serious sportsman would not be so cavalier about such a thing. The fiancé sincerely has the Alaskan survival show in his brain where a family survives by working together out of nothing and bartering. The hardships are of no consequence to him in his romantic notions. I can’t believe my sister is going to permit this union to occur. I am praying for common sense to jump into their pea sized brains before she gets pregnant.
It’s all about character. What is it that makes one stand out from the crowd. What ideology to you scribe to? What are your work ethics, moral values, and ability to reason? Do you have common sense? I could get on board with a Survivalist Mentality if I didn’t know my niece so well. She has two cells phones going 24/7, she owns 4 and changes them out while the others charge up. She talks to friends, watches entertainment videos, and listens to music. She does not work at housekeeping, cooking, or any domestic chores like sewing, knitting, or crochet. Gardening and yard work are also out. She does what she wants when she wants and has an attitude if you try to correct her behavior or thought processes. My husband says it’s the “Me generation,” whereas, kids distance themselves from authority, disrespect our nation and its symbols, yet expects to get free food, shelter, and medical care. They don’t want an education and could care less about holding a meaningful job with any longevity.
She does buy, or accept donated pregnant dogs and sells the pups for a profit. She doesn’t have any license to do this. She uses the money she gets to pay for the upkeep of future puppy sales and her cell phones. At least she is halfway smart in that area. She is a beautiful young woman, with so much potential that is slipping through the cracks. I hope for her that she stays on the education path and graduates high school. I hope that her dreams of being a veterinarian technician work out when she turns 17. I hope for allot of good things to come her way- but she must put forth effort and time and want to succeed in life.
My axiom in life has been, “If you can think of a goal, believe in the goal with your heart, and mind, then, you can achieve the goal.” It’s call proactive prophecy; see, believe, achieve. Parents should model this behavior for their children or grandchildren.




What a wonderful man I married.

When it comes to the marriage lottery- I won, big time!  When I tell people that Robert and I were 17y and 15y when we married and we have known each other 41 years, they are surprised that we made it 40 years since we were so young starting out.

We were very mature at our tender ages. We had experienced a lot of family life failures with our parents and their spouses to make us want to be an exception to the rule that, “young love doesn’t last.”

Robert and I discovered employment and acquired living debts just like everybody else in the world. At first it was difficult to get an apartment and utilities cut on because of our age. You had to be 18 yr’s old or have a co-signer. Robert would be 18 in one month so I explained this to the electric company and they finally agreed with a hefty deposit to give us utility services. The water was paid for by our landlord. We rented a nice furnished one bedroom apartment and lived there until I was six months pregnant with Rose. The land lady didn’t allow children in her apartments so we had to move. So we chose a tiny unfurnished one bedroom suite, and sat about furnishing it with garage sale finds and a new waterbed bought on terms.

We owned a 1969 Ford Galaxy 500 vehicle, Robert had worked and paid it off in Oklahoma before we eloped and got married. One day, about two months later, Robert came into the fast food restaurant and gave me a piece of metal  and said that was our car. He had been hit in a driving accident and totaled the car. We discovered that what the insurance said the car was worth and the blue book were totally different and they chose the lesser of the two. So with $500.00, we went to a ford dealership to buy a car. This time a Ford LTD, used of course.  We were warned against leasing vehicles by Roberts dad (which proved was poor advice). So, we took our used, no warranty car home and drove it for almost six weeks when the engine blew in it. We had to buy another vehicle at a pay-as-you-go car lot, because we still owed on the LTD for four years. After, we paid the LTD off we saved up and put a new engine in it and reupholstered the seats- and it served us well for many years.

Though we went through ups and downs, unexpected twists and turns, we settled down and life evolved and we had our family and life was good.






Blog or Stories

40th Wedding Anniversary

Our girls, Rose and Kassidey hostess a dinner party for their dad and my 40th anniversary. We had twenty-five people in attendance and a great time. Best friends; Sheila & Jason, Jim & Virginia, and mom Patricia all came down from Oklahoma to join the festivities. Sister Gaynell and great nieces Autumn and Makayla came from Alabama for three weeks. Friends Terre Lynn & Rick and Cathy & Wayne and Sarah, were entertaining. Rose’s family Joe, Michelle, Elaine, and Bella had their party shoes on and Kassidey’s family Nathaniel and Zack were ready to do a do-se-do. Nephew Aspen rounded out the party of well wishers. 



Blog or Stories Book

My Very First blog post

This is my very first post. I hope that you love to read novels, short stories, and poetry blogs. I have a chapter book in writing stages of the novel,  Shining Armor  due out by December 2017. I will be installing excerpts from the book.

Shining Armour is a love story that entreats the audience to ask; will young love ever be enough to sustain these lovers or will their young ages doom them to fail?