Inner Peace Is Within

Maxine always has a way with pithy words that are spot on target.

My sweet husband Robert, has Ankylosing Spondylitis and is in considerable pain most of the time. He is taking pain medication which is a new treatment for him, as his lumbar 2-5 vertebrae are deteriorating.

Living with chronic debilitating illness is hard on the person with the disease and hard on those who love them because, you are helpless in curing them. But help is on the way!

Greet each sunrise with prayer and thanksgiving in your heart, soul, and mind for God has blessed you once again.

He tends his flock like a shepherd, He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart…

Isaiah 40:11

God is our protection from being destroyed. God tells us that there will be hardships and task masters in life. But life is worth the living because we have God in our corner cheering us onwards. .

When I was in the hospital at Christmas time last year and knocking on deaths’ door, I was not afraid, for I knew my God was with me. I knew I had a place in heaven for he told me that he would go before me and provide an eternal resting place for me. I was not in a hurry to go, and God is not in a hurry to take me to his home.

Having faith in someone that defies all logical reasoning doesn’t make us crazy, it makes us unique, in that we can leap over logic and expand our mind to the untold opportunities that will await us.

Prayer is having a frank, no holds back conversation with God. He hears our cries and is just to answer us in his timing. God accepts our praises and gives us peace in return. Not just peace, but an everlasting, overflowing peace that defies all logic. So in the midst of all of our suffering is Gods’ kind of peace.

If you want God’s peace then ask him for it and it shall be given unto you. I am confident in this because I know my Lord Jesus Christ, the son of God. May the Lord be with you and give you comfort. Amen.

Tracey Lynn of Kingston, Ontario

The following script was taken from FaceBook, posted by Corey Dorsey.

Tracey Lynn asked a question in her comment: “This kinda post just weakens my faith , not to mention disturbs some people with PTSD.. God didn’t save my young daughter, why didn’t he send her someone ?”

I would like to try to answer her question and bring comfort to her. (See after script.) Corey Dorsey JacttSopnluufsonacmrsy f26oredo · The little boy put on his clothes for the cold and then told his father:”Ok dad I’m ready”His Dad, the pastor, said: “Ready for what?””Dad, it’s time to go outside and distribute our flyers.”Dad replied: “Son, it’s very cold outside and it’s drizzling.”The child looked surprised at his father and said: “But dad, people need to know about God even on rainy days.”Dad replied, “Son, I’m not going outside in this weather.”With despair, the child said: “Dad, can I go alone? Please!”His father waited for a moment and then said: “Son, you can go. Here’s the flyers, be careful.””Thank you dad!”And with this, the son went out into the rain. The 11-Year-old walked all the streets of the village, handing out the flyers to the people he saw.After 2 hours walking in the rain and in the cold and with his last flyer in his hand, he stopped in a corner to see if he saw someone to give the flyer too, but the streets were totally deserted. Then he turned to the first house he saw, walked to the front door, touched the bell several times and waited, but no one came out.Finally the boy turned to leave, but something stopped him. The child turned back to the door and began to touch the bell and pound the door strongly with his knuckles. He kept waiting. Finally the door was opened gently.A lady came out with a very sad look and gently asked:”What can I do for you, son?With radiant eyes and a bright smile the child said:”Lady, I’m sorry if I upset you, but I just want to tell you that God really loves you and that I came to give you my last flyer, which talks about God and His great love. The boy then gave her the flyer.She just said, “Thank you, son, God bless you!”Well, next Sunday morning, the pastor was in the pulpit and when the service began he asked:”Someone has a testimony or something they want to share?”Gently, in the back row of the church, an older lady stood up. When she started talking, a radiant and glorious look sprouted from her eyes:”Nobody in this church knows me. I have never been here, even last Sunday I was not Christian.My husband died a while ago leaving me totally alone in this world. Last Sunday was a particularly cold and rainy day, and it was also in my heart; that on that day I came to the end of the road, since I had no hope and didn’t want to live anymore.Then I took a chair and a rope and went up to the attic of my house. I tied and one end of the rope to the rafters of the roof; then I climbed onto the chair and put the other end of the rope around my neck.I then stood on the chair, so alone and heartbroken, I was about to throw myself off the chair, when suddenly I heard the loud sound of the door being knocked.So I thought: “I’ll wait for a minute and whoever it is will go”I waited and waited, but the door knocking was getting louder and louder every time. It got so loud that I couldn’t ignore it anymore. So I wondered, who could it be?No one ever comes close to my door or come to visit me!I released the rope from my neck and went to the door, while the bell was still ringing and the door was still being knocked on.When I opened the door, I couldn’t believe what my eyes saw, in front of my door was the most radiant and angelic child I’ve ever seen.He’s smile, ohhh, I can never describe it! The words that came out of his mouth made my heart, dead so long ago, come back to life, when he said with the VOICE OF CHERUB: “Lady, I just want to tell you that God really loves you””When the little angel disappeared between the cold and the rain, I closed my door and read every word of the flyer.Then I went to the attic to remove the chair and rope.I didn’t need them anymore. As you see. Now I am a happy daughter of the King.As the direction of the boy, when he left, was to this church, I came personally say thank you to that little angel of God who came just in time and, in fact, to rescue my life from an eternity in hell. And replaced it with an eternity in God’s presence. “Everyone cried in the church.The Pastor came down from the pulpit to the first bench of the front, where the little angel was sitting; he took his son in his arms and cried uncontrollably.-

Dear Tracey and suffers of PTSD,

God did send someone to help your daughter its just not the way you wanted it to be. Back in 1995, I suffered with Post Traumatic Stress (Syndrome)/Disorder, Multiple Personality Disorder, and Major Depressive with Bi-polar Disorder and Schizophrenia. I was messed up in my head.

My husband and two daughter clung to me in their love and support. We all believed the lie I would tell that “I’m doing better!” I was going three days a week to a psychologist for talk-therapy. I was getting worse. The PTSS/PTSD was in control and I felt like a burden to my family. I was costing my husband $35.00 per psyche visit so that was $105.00 per week that insurance would not pay + the costs of medications around $1200.00 per month for my co-pays. We paid for the Rx’s and two weeks of services monthly, long after I quit psychotherapy.

My point is we were sinking financially. I was a licensed and certified Educator who could not hold onto a job because of my mental health state of being. My girls had to give up ballet lessons and other extracurricular activities. So I felt like I was a burden that needed to be remedied, so I decided to kill myself.

I’ve written on this topic before so I will just encapsulate my story quickly.

As I lay there in my bedroom dying from a lethal concentration of prescriptions medications in my system. I have an apathy moment, a coming to Jesus moment. Everything was super quiet, my head was clear as a bell, and I had the question brought to my attention, “So you really want to kill yourself?” followed by, “your 13 yrs old daughter will be the one to find your dead body soon- do you want that to happen?”

I said “No! and help me Jesus! and he did. It could have gone very differently if I had answered Yes! to either one of the questions. You see, God gave me free will. He gave your daughter free will. No matter what her stinking thinking was telling her, she had a choice to make either before or during the process of taking her own life.

I don’t believe that it was a whim or un-thought-out plan that your daughter took her life, she must of been in allot of physical or mental pain.

But, I do know that she is in heaven if she chose (free-will) Jesus Christ as her LORD and Savior and GOD our Father and their Holy Spirit into her heart and mind. I was told that suicide was an unforgivable act of sin. I am glad that God is doing the judging on whether it is a sin or not. I believe that God takes the mental consciousness into consideration when he makes judgements about me.

On my suicide moment, I called my husband to say good-bye and wound up having my stomach pumped. I cried out for help with that call. My circumstances changed. Things got worse for all of us. I had to go to a daily daycare facility that charges my insurance $10,000.00 per month, we had to pay 20% of it for quiet awhile, until I was not suicidal thinking anymore. I’d like to say it was a quick recovery, but it wasn’t.

My family and mom wondered what they had done wrong to cause me to be suicidal. My mom penetrated my medicinal haze long enough for me to hear the pain in her voice as she told me repeatedly that she loved me. I truly did not know that she did. It was assumed that she would- being mom- and all. But I just didn’t think she cared about me one way or another.

You can bring comfort to your mind by knowing that you probably would not have been able to save your daughter from suicide. If she was thinking about it, and longing for it, you might have stopped her that moment; but she would have done it anyway she could. She had free-choice. I have free-choice. I decided to live, which meant have doctors probe my mind for stinking thinking and eradicate it. It was September 2001, that I finally found peace of mind and heart after being taken off of Lithium. In addition to the medication I was given Electroshock Therapy against my will. the EST has caused me to have Pseudoseizures ever since.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is real- you re-live moments of time and your decisions, even indecisions on repeat and total recall. You are constantly being bombarded with the negative aspects from your participation willingly or unwillingly in the events that causes the PTSD. So in essence you are being re-traumatized daily.

If you have PTSD, there is hope and help available. Reach out to your minister, doctor, mental health hospital, or a psychiatrist for help. You can also reach out on suicide prevention and help (free calls) numbers. You don’t have to go it alone. You don’t have to “keep a stiff upper lip” or have a “suck it up” mentality. It’s a rough road, but God did promise to help us if we ask. He sent Jesus for our eternal salvation and home and thereby fulfills the Old Testament promises of phrophecy which can be followed into the New Testament of Jesus Christ.

I hope I have caused you to have HOPE in knowing where your daughter is for eternity. I’m sorry she didn’t get an intervention from a person. But I do believe God was in the wings with the angle of death, waiting for her call.

Year One: A case of lemonade’s

Tuesday, February 06, 2018 was a shocking day for us. Robert has to quit his high-paying job and take an unpaid medical retirement. His Ankylosing Psoriasis Arthritis was out of remission and brought his health down. His symptoms included Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Our financial picture was okay, or so we thought. Until reality sunk in. We cashed our savings and 401K in and final bonus. We paid to get rid of the truck and payment of $751.00 monthly. We bought a used truck for $7100.00 and had to make $2500.00 in repairs in September.

We were ushered into the world of Social Security Disability Insurance claim and hiring a good lawyer.   May met with approval for September 2018.

My prescriptions were $2,000.00 monthly, and Roberts was $900.00 monthly, no problem if you have insurance—now we didn’t. Discover Catholic charity organization that would help one time per year. They helped with mine but couldn’t with Roberts they used the amount that would have been allotted to him, and we paid the difference on the prescription bill.

We paid off credit card debt. Stopped the housekeeper, lawn care, dog walker, and pooper-scooper services. We made changes for the Internet/TV and cellular phone services $800.00 monthly became $300.00 monthly. Then my daughter helped shave $200.00 off the bill. We cut back on eating out and spa days. Mindless shopping was a thing of the past.

 Little did we know that in seven weeks he would suffer a heart attack and have heart surgery performed hours later on Tuesday, March 20^th. The hospital required an $18,368.00 deposit ($61,000.00+ Surgery). Public health services were non-existent; I filled out two applications (1^st was lost) and kept on them for three months only to be denied services because my husband made too much money in 2017. We have a huge garage sale fundraiser.

We began to search for medical insurance; what a sticker shock! $500.00+ monthly for basic and I do mean basic insurance through care.gov program; no prescription coverage, two annual checkups, and 70/30 copay with $1500.00 deductible and only pay the hospital $250.00 for any hospital stay greater than 20hours. In 2019, despite it using part of the name- our insurance was not Obamacare approved so guess who had to pay a $1100.00 tax penalty?

April rolls around an air conditioner/heat pump quit working.  We coast into May, hot temperatures force us to spend $2400.00 on portable air conditioner/heat units. Our electric bill doubles for three months until we take a personal loan out to replace the ac/unit in June.

July 1^st rolls around, we pay our mortgage. No funds have been coming in from employment or any other source. We officially run out of money. SSDI does not start until September 15^th.

Our pride is sunk. My daughters help with food and life insurances. We’re not out of the woods, yet.

December comes, we ask, and our church helps us out with utilities, and a community link helps with food once a month. Christmas giving is non-existent without the use of an online store credit card. We go into debt willfully; we don’t want the grandchildren to think we forgot about them. We spent $40k of savings & SSDI to survive the 1^st ¾ of the year.

January 2019. Our real estate taxes increase, the homeowner’s insurance raises $400.00, and we have an escrow shortage that jacks our payments up.

February 6^th, 2019 one year to the day, we list our house for sale.

March 11,2019. There are pitfalls with our credit score that have to be addressed so we can buy another cheaper place to live. We have learned to live frugally. I have been attending a Dave Ramsey Financial University workshop. We were cut to the bone. What turned out to be fair weather friends abandoned us, and true friends came forward to offer encouragement.

Our faith in GOD had grown. Our commitment to the church has grown in creating and developing a ministry and helping out other ministries with our time and talents. Our family dynamics have remained stable; we have each other’s heart.  We are over the foothills and are climbing the mountains’. God has been our strength, our refuge, an ambassador of our belief in him through Jesus Christ our Lord. Evil will always be among us, but so is good.

The crucifix of our body

Jesus Christ is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him, all things hold together. 1 Colossians 1:15-17.

When we look at the vast universe, ever expanding with galaxies, stars, asteroids, comets, planets, and other heavenly bodies we are amazed at Gods creations.  Are we no less amazed at the creations on earth?  Have you ever wondered what the glue was that held our skin on our bodies, muscles and ligaments, nerves and cells together? I found out today in church that the glue is a protein molecule named Laminin. What is unique about this protein is the shape it takes on itself.  It is a crucifix, a symbol of the cross of biblical days of capital punishment. It is also in the heavens known as the Crux Constellation.  God gave us this symbol hidden in our bodies to the naked eye (invisible) yet providing an essential function within our bodies, notwithstanding, if we did not have this miracle protein we would not exist as human beings.

Since God created mankind we have yet to fully understand all the molecular and electrical fields of our brains and consciousness though we have made great strides in both areas of study.  Why did God create the Laminin in the shape of a cross? I think it is so that we humans can be amazed by science and prompted to theologize the significance of finding something so small to be of great worth.  Just like discovering the Crux Constellation is a reminder of the crucifix- a symbol that God created the heavens and the earth.

 

Laminin – Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laminin
Laminins are high-molecular-weight (~400 to ~900 kDa) proteins of the extracellular matrix. They are a major component of the basal lamina (one of the layers of the basement membrane), a protein network foundation for most cells and organs.

InterPro: IPR009254   Symbol: Laminin_I
Pfam: PF06008
Function · Pathology · Use in cell culture · Laminin domains

The Crux Constellation

 

 

 

 

Love, respect, and approval are our basic needs, too.

You are unique. Even identical children have their own independent fingerprints. God created us; mankind, in his image. God gave us rights to love and acceptance, respect, forgiveness, and approval.

You are capable. A newborn comes into the world, and its whole life is changed. The source of nourishment, diapering needs, warmth or coolness of body. It makes it mind up if it can trust it’s caretakers to fulfill the basics of needs. Love is a learned behavior.

You survived!  And not only did you survive you flourished. You are a capable, independent person of attributes. You possess a gamut of emotions from happiness to sadness, a disappointment to acceptance, love to despise.  You seek approval from others, from GOD, and from yourself at the most basic level of needs.

You are respected. At some point in life, you have earned respect from yourself and others. Respect is a sense of well-being in your world. Respect is innate that God created you to be perfected through Christ and it is good.

Your self-image is positive or negative, rarely neutral. A positive outlook tells itself that it is liked, loved, respected, appreciated, forgiven. An adverse or negative outlook tells itself that it is unlovable, disrespected, demoralized, or not worthy of forgiveness.  A healthy person will fluctuate in our self-image based upon external factors that we internalize as to be a positive or a negative condition. How we view ourselves influences our success or failures as individuals.

Kat Challis 06/20/18

Are You Happy?

Are you happy, truly happy? Not the giddy, silly, I’m on top of the mountain type of happiness that is event centered. I am talking about the day in and day out kind of happiness that makes you want to get out of bed and do something that day.

Are you happy that you have employment! Happy in that you like your job. You feel that you are contributing to the company’s success.  You value your co-workers as individuals and as a part of the team. When you look at spending 1/3 of your life working for yourself or someone else, does it give you pleasure that you have a purpose- a feeling that something is happening because of your efforts? Even mundane, repetitive jobs have a goal such as; shopping or maintaining your home or transportation.

Are you happy that you have a family to call your own?  Having dynamic relationships with people that share a common bond- parentage or adoption into a family through blood or the legal system. It’s not easy to have a family; there are disagreements, feelings get hurt, apologies are not always forthcoming, so you have to forgive for self-preservation. One must love unconditionally those in their family unit, even those who are unlovable by having an ornery or evil spirit. Unconditional love is grace- God’s grace, it not that anyone has earned it or is deserving of it- grace exists. While your exercising grace is it a joy to be with your family members individually or as a group? Do you feel enriched and loved by other people, so they give you cause for happiness? Or are you missing the happiness boat?

Are you happy that you have developed friendships with otherwise strangers? Some of these friendships are close to family feelings of importance. They have a value that can come for a small season or a lifelong season. Sometimes we disappoint most of the time were in sync with the other persons thought processes and personality that’s what endears them to us.

God can be our source of great happiness. A belief in a spiritual power so high that it shames our perception of happiness/ but gives us a benchmark to strive to attain. We are made up of a spirit/soul, physical being, and a thought process. One can not be separated from the other.

Whether its work, family, or friends we need happiness for our physical well being, spiritual, and mental health. When you are unhappy, you have a physical reaction like frowning, being anxious, being tired, have aches and pains, depression and taken to the extreme suicidal thoughts. You may even waiver in your faith in God. or not want to be with anyone else. It takes more energy to be unhappy than that of being happy. Happiness is a conscious choice that effects our subconscious actions. So choose happiness or “fake it ’till you make it’ happen.”

An Angel’s Visit

There once was a man, aged by dereliction.

He came to our trailer door pleading for something to eat.

He asked if he could use the water hose.

So, I gave him a towel, washcloth, and soap.

While he began to clean his too thin body

I began to cook.

I remembered to treat him as an honored guest and put on our best.

Pan fried steak sizzled while the biscuits baked and the vegetables cooked.

From my best plate, he ate and said it was the best meal he ever had.

I was just thirteen years old, but I was certain that God had sent an angel

to our door that very day.

Kat Challis 06/17/2007

My LORD

My LORD os a special spirit,

that settles upon me like a dove;

so soft and gentle does he comfort me

in all of my tragedies.

He tells me of all the wonders

he has in store for me to behold.

He tells me of the galaxies the pilgrims

have called their home.

He shows me all his creations,

my eyes light up in wonder and awe.

Now, I look all about me and see with

truth revealing, that man is just a special

part of this place I call home.

And now, I look forwards to my special spirit to guide me in the ways

of righteousness and help steer me from wrong,

So, if you’re ever in need my friend and

you don’t know where you belong…

you can just borrow my special friend, the Spirit

that’s  everlasting; the Lord God almighty

and take him on home.

cc December 15, 1990 Kathy Challis orgional titled, “My Lord” & “Take him on home”