A tribute to Raymond

Tonight we had a viewing of Robert’s brother Raymond Challis. Afterward, the Chaplin led the family into sharing stories about Raymond. I would have liked to have known the man they described instead of the broken man I knew. He a world traveler, fisherman, and humorous person who loved life. I am happy that his other brothers and sister has fond memories of him; they are missing him greatly.

My husbands’ memory of him that stands out was a painful one. He was in high school, and his parents had a custody fight in court over the two young boys in Kindergarten and 1st grade; Raymond and Patrick.  His mother threw him under the bus lying about him to the court so that the court ordered a restraining order against Robert. His mother excuse later was that she had already lost him (Robert) and she didn’t want to lose the other two boys. Robert had to observe his little brothers from a distance, and he died a little each time.

Fast forward five years, I am in the picture now.  Raymond and Patrick take turns visiting their dad and brothers in another state. There was a lot of tension surrounding their visit so that we were discouraged by dad and step-mom to not go around and visit them.  My mom and dad Jack- an electrician- would visit with Raymond every day when they lived in the country and Ray was working on a job site near their home as an electrician. Raymond ate dinner with them and just visited on many occasions until the job was done.  I learned about him through mom’s phone calls, as we lived in a different state. Dad was pleased that Raymond had chosen to be an electrician too.

Ten years later, Robert & I move our little family back to Oklahoma.  We meet a damaged Raymond and his co-hab wife who had two children from another marriage.  We put effort into trying to get to know Raymond, but the wife discouraged it as they were too busy to get involved with us and I was a “holy roller” (I was involved in church).  All our children grow up without being involved in each other’s life.

Raymond visits his mom, and Robert gets to see him occasionally as Raymond visits because Raymond had moved out of state and married Kris. Unfortunately everytime I saw Raymond as a teenager and adult he was buzzed or just plain drunk,  with alcohol drinking and couldn’t carry on a conversation of substance.   Finally, Raymond moved back to Oklahoma four years ago, but Robert & I had been re-established in Texas by then, and I didn’t get to see him but twice for a few minutes when I went to Oklahoma to visit my mom. Robert talked over the phone with Raymond a few times and visited him in the hospital a year ago.

The tension was thick; Robert & Raymond didn’t have anything in common save being brothers, the damage had been done, their fate had been sealed a long time ago.  It’s easy to blame the mother and dad for the fighting that destroyed the brotherhood at such a young age and set into motion a change of events to where we were gathered at today.  It is tragic.  Raymond was an atheist and Robert, and I believe and worship GOD. Raymond was an alcoholic, Robert and I are tea-toters by choice.  Although they were separated 40 years, Robert still loves the Kindergarten Raymond very much and misses the boy he was and mourns the man he never really knew.

 

 

 

 

 

Farewell Dr. Billy Grahm Jr.

We can all agree that Dr. Billy Grahm Jr. was a man who spoke of God as a loving father to his children. 1918-2018 a life of testimony for all sinners to accept the loving grace of God. That while we were sinners Christ died on the cross of Calvary Hill for us, was laid to rest in a tomb, and was risen into eternal life. The simple message, “God loves you,”  is the message of unfailing belief that there is a living God and we all will be accountable for our beliefs and actions when we die.

Snap, Crackle, and Pop

We have three new additions to our Parakeet family. Kassidey named them Snap, Crackle, and Pop. Their parents names are Chee-Chee and Loki.  Chee-Chee and Loki both feed the babies and take turns with them; a real partnership of parenting.

It was funny after the facts. Robert & Kass had thought they had allowed one of my birds to die while I was in the hospital three weeks ago; despite their efforts of keeping food and water aplenty.  Loki was out and about eating and drinking water, but Chee-Chee was inside their little nesting house. She didn’t seem to be moving. So Kassidey, started to take the nesting house out of the bigger cage and out flew Chee-Chee angry with her. Then Kassi glimpsed four eggs; she had been nurturing. She quickly reattached the nesting house and got out of there.

11/22/2017

My dad Jack

When I was thirteen a good man named Jack Boggs entered my life and that of my mothers. They were married for 40 years until dad’s death two years ago. I miss him terribly and mom even more so.

When I first met Jack he drank Budweiser Beer all weekend long, he was a happy drunk. He never yelled or raised a fist to mom or anybody. He spent his money liberally. That year the fair came to town and Jack spent $200.00 on me winning many stuffed animals. I had never experienced that before. Mom was just as surprised, and I treasured those animals until my step-mom made me give them away. Jack was a nice man to me, he set boundaries, and on occasion threaten to spank my butt; but never did.

Jack dad would take us tent camping at Red Rock Canyon and other places. He loved fishing and would go hunting with my brother, Tommy. My sister GayNell was already married at age 16 and divorced at 17; she was pretty wild on life.

I would live part of the year with mom and part of the year with father Earl and step-mom Marie. My grades were good with mom and dad, I was well nourished, clothed properly and a happy child. The opposite of Earl and Marie’s occurred. I was looking at childhood memories and pictures just the other day; on the backs of the pictures were my name, year, and age. When I got to age thirteen, I noticed that I had written in my weight. Little did I know that the picture would encapsulate a life long trend in me. I weighed 103 pounds for my 5′ frame and Marie compared me to a 500 pound woman and friend Albina. Marie said I was well on my way to becoming like Albina. I was compared to my step-sisters and found to be grossly over-weight, that’s when the dieting began for me.

Life was happiness at mom and dad’s home and hell at Earl & Marie’s house. For delicate reasons (taxes) I had to live with Earl for part of the year. It was on a visit that drove me to elope with Robert at age 15 years old. prior to that mom & dad moved around the state of Oklahoma to where the Union Hall IBEW sent him. I stayed in Okmulgee, Weatherford, Warr Acres, and Bethany, OKlahoma for a few months out of the year. I met some really interesting people. Jack never knew a stranger, he was likeable. and able to carry on a conversation with anyone.

When my nephew Tell was born, dad Jack decided to give up the Budweiser for good. And he did. He began going to church with mom and was dedicated to GOD for the rest of his life. The big idea behind Jack Boggs was that he accepted and loved all three of us children. He would stay on the phone with me for all hours of the night when I was pregnant and re-living the past with Earl and Marie. Many nights he would turn the alarm off and go straight to work. When I was pregnant with my daughters the flashbacks were terrible and I was so afraid that Earl would harm my baby girls. Jack laid and listened and tried to calm my fears.

When I think back over the last 40 years, I see that Jack was a big part of my life, he was a dad to me and not a step-dad. And mom took everything in stride. And now dad has gone to be with the Lord until eternity- and I miss him like crazy.

 

 

Farewell Dr. Puskoor Kumar

Dr. Puskoor Kumar passed away from a heart attack in March 2017. I had just visited him three days prior and he seemed just fine to me. I met Dr. Kumar in 2002 and hit it off as a patient-doctor duo. He was a gentleman, with a kindness about him, and a determination to help me with my problems.

Psychiatrist often tends to be a bit standoffish, but Kumar was the exception. He had a wife, children, and grandchildren and on occasion would say something nice about them when prompted. I didn’t go to his funeral because that is a most private family time. But I would like to say farewell now.

Dr. Kumar, you have seen me at my worst and my best and stood by me when I needed you most. You had integrity and honor and made your profession proud. You are missed by many. I know you are in Heaven because that’s the type of life you lead. I know in my heart that you are in peace and tranquility, even now as I speak.  When I get to heaven, I hope you throw up a hand in recognition and say hello occasionally.  You will be surrounded by your loved ones who chose God through Jesus Christ.

I’ll never forget your parting advice to me was to, ” get a job, write my book, or just do something positive with my life- make it count. I’ll see you in six months. Good-bye, and take care.”  It’s been six months, so I am saying Farewell, Dr. Kumar- you were the best.

#death #funeral #heaven #farewell

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/name/puskoor-kumar-obituary?pid=1000000184335080&view=guestbook&page=11