Categories
Inspirational

Tracey Lynn of Kingston, Ontario


The following script was taken from FaceBook, posted by Corey Dorsey.

Tracey Lynn asked a question in her comment: “This kinda post just weakens my faith , not to mention disturbs some people with PTSD.. God didn’t save my young daughter, why didn’t he send her someone ?”

I would like to try to answer her question and bring comfort to her. (See after script.) Corey Dorsey JacttSopnluufsonacmrsy f26oredo · PublicThe little boy put on his clothes for the cold and then told his father:”Ok dad I’m ready”His Dad, the pastor, said: “Ready for what?””Dad, it’s time to go outside and distribute our flyers.”Dad replied: “Son, it’s very cold outside and it’s drizzling.”The child looked surprised at his father and said: “But dad, people need to know about God even on rainy days.”Dad replied, “Son, I’m not going outside in this weather.”With despair, the child said: “Dad, can I go alone? Please!”His father waited for a moment and then said: “Son, you can go. Here’s the flyers, be careful.””Thank you dad!”And with this, the son went out into the rain. The 11-Year-old walked all the streets of the village, handing out the flyers to the people he saw.After 2 hours walking in the rain and in the cold and with his last flyer in his hand, he stopped in a corner to see if he saw someone to give the flyer too, but the streets were totally deserted. Then he turned to the first house he saw, walked to the front door, touched the bell several times and waited, but no one came out.Finally the boy turned to leave, but something stopped him. The child turned back to the door and began to touch the bell and pound the door strongly with his knuckles. He kept waiting. Finally the door was opened gently.A lady came out with a very sad look and gently asked:”What can I do for you, son?With radiant eyes and a bright smile the child said:”Lady, I’m sorry if I upset you, but I just want to tell you that God really loves you and that I came to give you my last flyer, which talks about God and His great love. The boy then gave her the flyer.She just said, “Thank you, son, God bless you!”Well, next Sunday morning, the pastor was in the pulpit and when the service began he asked:”Someone has a testimony or something they want to share?”Gently, in the back row of the church, an older lady stood up. When she started talking, a radiant and glorious look sprouted from her eyes:”Nobody in this church knows me. I have never been here, even last Sunday I was not Christian.My husband died a while ago leaving me totally alone in this world. Last Sunday was a particularly cold and rainy day, and it was also in my heart; that on that day I came to the end of the road, since I had no hope and didn’t want to live anymore.Then I took a chair and a rope and went up to the attic of my house. I tied and one end of the rope to the rafters of the roof; then I climbed onto the chair and put the other end of the rope around my neck.I then stood on the chair, so alone and heartbroken, I was about to throw myself off the chair, when suddenly I heard the loud sound of the door being knocked.So I thought: “I’ll wait for a minute and whoever it is will go”I waited and waited, but the door knocking was getting louder and louder every time. It got so loud that I couldn’t ignore it anymore. So I wondered, who could it be?No one ever comes close to my door or come to visit me!I released the rope from my neck and went to the door, while the bell was still ringing and the door was still being knocked on.When I opened the door, I couldn’t believe what my eyes saw, in front of my door was the most radiant and angelic child I’ve ever seen.He’s smile, ohhh, I can never describe it! The words that came out of his mouth made my heart, dead so long ago, come back to life, when he said with the VOICE OF CHERUB: “Lady, I just want to tell you that God really loves you””When the little angel disappeared between the cold and the rain, I closed my door and read every word of the flyer.Then I went to the attic to remove the chair and rope.I didn’t need them anymore. As you see. Now I am a happy daughter of the King.As the direction of the boy, when he left, was to this church, I came personally say thank you to that little angel of God who came just in time and, in fact, to rescue my life from an eternity in hell. And replaced it with an eternity in God’s presence. “Everyone cried in the church.The Pastor came down from the pulpit to the first bench of the front, where the little angel was sitting; he took his son in his arms and cried uncontrollably.-

Dear Tracey and suffers of PTSD,

God did send someone to help your daughter its just not the way you wanted it to be. Back in 1995, I suffered with Post Traumatic Stress (Syndrome)/Disorder, Multiple Personality Disorder, and Major Depressive with Bi-polar Disorder and Schizophrenia. I was messed up in my head.

My husband and two daughter clung to me in their love and support. We all believed the lie I would tell that “I’m doing better!” I was going three days a week to a psychologist for talk-therapy. I was getting worse. The PTSS/PTSD was in control and I felt like a burden to my family. I was costing my husband $35.00 per psyche visit so that was $105.00 per week that insurance would not pay + the costs of medications around $1200.00 per month for my co-pays. We paid for the Rx’s and two weeks of services monthly, long after I quit psychotherapy.

My point is we were sinking financially. I was a licensed and certified Educator who could not hold onto a job because of my mental health state of being. My girls had to give up ballet lessons and other extracurricular activities. So I felt like I was a burden that needed to be remedied, so I decided to kill myself.

I’ve written on this topic before so I will just encapsulate my story quickly.

As I lay there in my bedroom dying from a lethal concentration of prescriptions medications in my system. I have an apathy moment, a coming to Jesus moment. Everything was super quiet, my head was clear as a bell, and I had the question brought to my attention, “So you really want to kill yourself?” followed by, “your 13 yrs old daughter will be the one to find your dead body soon- do you want that to happen?”

I said “No! and help me Jesus! and he did. It could have gone very differently if I had answered Yes! to either one of the questions. You see, God gave me free will. He gave your daughter free will. No matter what her stinking thinking was telling her, she had a choice to make either before or during the process of taking her own life.

I don’t believe that it was a whim or un-thought-out plan that your daughter took her life, she must of been in allot of physical or mental pain.

But, I do know that she is in heaven if she chose (free-will) Jesus Christ as her LORD and Savior and GOD our Father and their Holy Spirit into her heart and mind. I was told that suicide was an unforgivable act of sin. I am glad that God is doing the judging on whether it is a sin or not. I believe that God takes the mental consciousness into consideration when he makes judgements about me.

On my suicide moment, I called my husband to say good-bye and wound up having my stomach pumped. I cried out for help with that call. My circumstances changed. Things got worse for all of us. I had to go to a daily daycare facility that charges my insurance $10,000.00 per month, we had to pay 20% of it for quiet awhile, until I was not suicidal thinking anymore. I’d like to say it was a quick recovery, but it wasn’t.

My family and mom wondered what they had done wrong to cause me to be suicidal. My mom penetrated my medicinal haze long enough for me to hear the pain in her voice as she told me repeatedly that she loved me. I truly did not know that she did. It was assumed that she would- being mom- and all. But I just didn’t think she cared about me one way or another.

You can bring comfort to your mind by knowing that you probably would not have been able to save your daughter from suicide. If she was thinking about it, and longing for it, you might have stopped her that moment; but she would have done it anyway she could. She had free-choice. I have free-choice. I decided to live, which meant have doctors probe my mind for stinking thinking and eradicate it. It was September 2001, that I finally found peace of mind and heart after being taken off of Lithium. In addition to the medication I was given Electroshock Therapy against my will. the EST has caused me to have Pseudoseizures ever since.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is real- you re-live moments of time and your decisions, even indecisions on repeat and total recall. You are constantly being bombarded with the negative aspects from your participation willingly or unwillingly in the events that causes the PTSD. So in essence you are being re-traumatized daily.

If you have PTSD, there is hope and help available. Reach out to your minister, doctor, mental health hospital, or a psychiatrist for help. You can also reach out on suicide prevention and help (free calls) numbers. You don’t have to go it alone. You don’t have to “keep a stiff upper lip” or have a “suck it up” mentality. It’s a rough road, but God did promise to help us if we ask. He sent Jesus for our eternal salvation and home and thereby fulfills the Old Testament promises of phrophecy which can be followed into the New Testament of Jesus Christ.

I hope I have caused you to have HOPE in knowing where your daughter is for eternity. I’m sorry she didn’t get an intervention from a person. But I do believe God was in the wings with the angle of death, waiting for her call.

By Kat Challis

Kathy Ann (Hughes) Challis Married in 1977 to Robert Challis-from Bethany, OK - still together 42 years later.
Two daughters ages 41y and 37y and six beautiful grandchildren.
Live in Alvarado, TX. I love GOD and live life to its fullest. I am blessed beyond measure.
I have family pets that give me a sense of devotion. Writing this blog has
been an adventure of internal growth and I hope of interest to you.

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