What a wonderful man I married.

When it comes to the marriage lottery- I won, big time!  When I tell people that Robert and I were 17y and 15y when we married and we have known each other 41 years, they are surprised that we made it 40 years since we were so young starting out.

We were very mature at our tender ages. We had experienced a lot of family life failures with our parents and their spouses to make us want to be an exception to the rule that, “young love doesn’t last.”

Robert and I discovered employment and acquired living debts just like everybody else in the world. At first it was difficult to get an apartment and utilities cut on because of our age. You had to be 18 yr’s old or have a co-signer. Robert would be 18 in one month so I explained this to the electric company and they finally agreed with a hefty deposit to give us utility services. The water was paid for by our landlord. We rented a nice furnished one bedroom apartment and lived there until I was six months pregnant with Rose. The land lady didn’t allow children in her apartments so we had to move. So we chose a tiny unfurnished one bedroom suite, and sat about furnishing it with garage sale finds and a new waterbed bought on terms.

We owned a 1969 Ford Galaxy 500 vehicle, Robert had worked and paid it off in Oklahoma before we eloped and got married. One day, about two months later, Robert came into the fast food restaurant and gave me a piece of metal  and said that was our car. He had been hit in a driving accident and totaled the car. We discovered that what the insurance said the car was worth and the blue book were totally different and they chose the lesser of the two. So with $500.00, we went to a ford dealership to buy a car. This time a Ford LTD, used of course.  We were warned against leasing vehicles by Roberts dad (which proved was poor advice). So, we took our used, no warranty car home and drove it for almost six weeks when the engine blew in it. We had to buy another vehicle at a pay-as-you-go car lot, because we still owed on the LTD for four years. After, we paid the LTD off we saved up and put a new engine in it and reupholstered the seats- and it served us well for many years.

Though we went through ups and downs, unexpected twists and turns, we settled down and life evolved and we had our family and life was good.

 

 

 

 

 

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Accountability is Responsibility

Every person is accountable for their own actions and reactions and choices that they make.

We can blame society, our parents, GOD, or someone else for our troubles, but that doesn’t mean we are right. If you do not like your present circumstances then change them.

Change can be a painful process, but allowing something or someone to control you is even more painful as it chips away at your spirit, confidence, self-esteem, and ability to make decisions.

I didn’t like the way my father reared us three children. He was quick to anger and quick to hit you with a belt repeatedly.  I chose NOT to spank or beat my children long before I had any.

I didn’t like the way my father would humble himself before anyone wealthier than us and say we were inferior to them. So I chose to teach my daughters self-respect and dignity and GOD was the only person worthy to be humble too; humans are fallible and just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you’re right.

I didn’t like the way my father was a womanizer to any female beginning puberty to old age. He saw every female as fair game to have sex with. Pedofilia was his actions and his excuses. So I chose to marry a man who had self-control and boundaries of moral conduct.

I didn’t like that my father thought education was a waste of time and money. So I earned my GED and Bachelor of Science Degree and instilled the values into my daughters so that they graduated 12 grade and earned Bachelor and Master Degrees. My husband earned certifications, Associates and Bachelor Degree. And we all continue to learn daily, and are instilling those values to our grandchildren.

What I did like about my father was his thriftiness. He went to yard sales and auctions all the time and bought and repurposed items or sold them for a profit. He also was a hard worker and keen provider (mom’s financial  management) until my mother divorced him.

I used the above personal examples to show you that no matter what  your circumstances are you can change. It doesn’t cost money to make subtle changes within yourself; ideas, values, and  identity. You don’t have to follow family traditions if they are poor choices made by demoralizing people.

Ultimately, you should like yourself as a human being thus causing other humans to want to be around you and get to know in what ways you are a terrific person to know.